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Roomies No. 1: The Pilot
The Pilot is the pilot episode to Roomies. The episode is written by Guysponge22. Rated TV-14. Act I Ian: I'M BORED. Josh: Why do I care? I'm not Dr. Phil. Sponge: HEY GAI-...WELL *bleep* YOU TO FLOOR. Ian: This is your house, dumbass. Sponge: Shut it, anyhow, I brought the stuff! Josh: HELL YEAH! Let's go to the basement. <> Josh: Yo... you... you need some Playboy magazines man. They're nude women, MAN! Sponge: Oh I do? I never knew... anyhow, I AM SO HIGH. SO. HIGH. Ian: ...How much did he sniff? XD Anyhow, this beer. I know underage drinking is wrong. But... BERRY-FLAVORED BEER MAN! Josh: There needs to be a pizza-flavored beer! Pepperoni and cheesy goodness! Sponge: Hey man... I feel like... more glue!! AW YEAH... THAT'S THE STUFF. Sponge's Mom: Honey, pizza! Sponge: HELL YEAH, PIZZA! Ian: Oh yeah... breasts. Josh: ...Pizza doesn't have boobs, Ian. You drunk? Ian: No *bleep* dumbass. Sponge's Dad: IMMA KICK YOUR ASSES IF YOU USE THAT LANGUANGE AGAIN. <> Sponge's Dad: I wanna know how you dumbasses think you can say the 's' word in my house. That deserves a swift ass-whooping. Sponge's Mom: Now, Abrar, don't say that language. Ian: BITCHIN'. Sponge: Dammit, Ian, not NOW. Abrar: I cannot believe you people. Know what? You're not going to the movies! Sponge: DAD! I really wanted to see Invincible 7! It's the final installment! Sponge's Mom: Sponge... that's what you said about the third one... and the fourth one... and- Josh: Ms. Sponge's Mom, you can't do this. I really wanted to see that movie! Abrar: You can't, and you won't. I will make sure of that, also, get your dumbass friend up. Anyhow, I need to get to work, I'm already an hour late. Josh: Ehh... he needs a beer break... Act II LATER... Ian: You brought the money? Steve: Yup. Ian: MY BABIES! Steve: C'mon, before Abrar and Mina notice. Ticket girl: You sure you're their Guardian? Steve: Yeah, completely. Ticket girl: Okay... Room 12... <> Ian: XXXZ is hilarious! Sponge: I know, surprised the lady believed you were our guardian! I mean, you're not related to any of us! Steve: Yeah... I'm not... Anyhow, Josh, where the heck did you get the popcorn? Josh: I 'unno, found $30 lying around, so I picked it up. ...EW. It tastes like crap! Steve: Well... hey... is Ian... oh damn... Sponge: Can I ask something first? HOW MANY BEERS DO YOU DRINK?! Sorry... Ian: Usually three a week. But I'm on a roll today! Steve : DAMMIT! I knew I shouldn't have brought the beers!! Ian: OOGA BOOGA BOOBIES!! Steve: Craaaaaaaaaaaap... Tennant: Is... is that a beer bottle? Ian/Steve/Josh/Sponge: NO. Tennant: We have a breaker, Code 7A. I repeat, a breaker, Code 7A. I'm going to have to detach you four, till further notice. Sponge: YOU CAN'T DO THAT! Tennant: Yes I can. Kick 'em out. Theater Hand #1: Your asses are outside for now. Steve : Damn my stupidity. Josh : Yeah, screw you. Steve : HOW CAN YOU HEAR MY THOUGHTS?! Josh: Magic. Tennant: YOU'RE KICKED OUT. Josh: GREAT JOB DUMBASS. break Act III Josh: IAN, YOU GODDAMNED DUMBASS. WHY, DID YOU DRINK THOSE BEERS?! Ian: Hey! Steve's the one who brought them! Steve: YOU'RE THE ONE THAT FREAKING ASKED FOR 'EM! Ian: Well... Sponge- Sponge: You bring me into this, I cut off your finger. Sponge: ...Sorry... Steve: Let's just get in the car. Oh, look, a beer from last week. Ian: ...Last... week? <> Sponge : Crap! They found out! Abrar: Hello, son, and dumbasses... Sponge... when you go out to somewhere without permission, and with these hooligans... You realize your gonna get your ass handed to you? Sponge: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaah. I'm- Abrar: Don't wanna hear it. You guys go to bed, and Steve... go back home, or else. Steve: Alright sir... God, he is scary. Josh: We're so screwed. Sponge: No dip, Sherlock! Abrar: Hey guys... who wants to go first? Let's see... Sponge. Sponge: Aw... dammit... Post-credits scene Sponge: Don't... don't go in the kitchen... Ian/Josh: Why not? Sponge: Just, don't. It's terrible. Sponge's Mom: MARCO Sponge's Dad: POLO Josh: OH GOD Category:Original Story Category:Comedy Category:Page made by Guysponge22